The Free Land of The Hamsters is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.497 billion Hamstersians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 29.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Hamstersian economy, worth 126 trillion Hamster Coins a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 36,037 Hamster Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The police double as repo men, politicians cheer the nation's surging death rate, the police have nothing to do with the increasing number of 'disappeared', and discarded pennies litter the streets. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Hamsters's national animal is the Hamster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Hamsters is ranked 120,583^rd in the world and 2,969^th in the Rejected Realms for Safest, scoring 73.09 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.